The travellers

Words of wisdom from yours truly:

If your boyfriend travels a lot (business or pleasure) then here's a couple things to remember

1. If you're the jealous type, I'm not condemning jealousy but IMO its a waste of time to be jealous. Jealousy isn't exactly a healthy feeling, but a little bit once in awhile is natural. Don't over-analyze things. If he looks like he's flirting with another girl you have a few options. (A) Tell him you don't appreciate him disregarding your feelings, or (B) Tell him not to take your trust for granted because you trust him not to do something stupid to jeopardize your relationship (like cheating).
2. Go with him on his trip if you have the time. I'm sure he would love to travel with you.
3. Establish the rules first. If he knows which boundaries he can't cross then you both know if he breaks/goes around the rules you are justified to be angry and tell him "I told you so" after. (The fact that he already knows he screwed up is adequate as well)
4. If he DOES do something stupid and you find out/he tells you, then you have a few choices to make. You can forgive him, be angry, fight/argue about it, or break up. It's really up to you what you decide you can't forgive.
5. Don't become one of those clingy, paranoid girlfriends who think he'll cheat on you every time he so much as even looks at another girl. No one likes one of those. We all have insecurities that maybe the boyfriend will cheat and break up with us, but if you establish that trust and communication at the beginning it won't be such a huge issue. He loves you. That DOES count for something. You have to give a little to get in return. The more you distrust him, the more he's likely to cheat on you

Friends ask me sometimes, how do you deal with your boyfriend travelling all the time? Don't you miss him? Aren't you afraid he's going to cheat on you?

Yes I miss him. Yes I am afraid he may cheat on me because really, we all know he could if he wanted to, never tell me and I'd never know the wiser, right? It's a risk I have to take because I trust he wouldn't do that to me. People say we're lucky to have this trust between us but its not as simple as it seems. It's hard to put all of your trust in someone else. There will always be a risk of getting hurt but are you brave enough to take that leap of faith? At the end of the day, I'm the one he calls, I'm the one he goes the extra mile for, and I'm the one he shows he loves. The reminders and little things count (keep that in mind guys) because it's what keeps me from doubting him.

Until next time,
M

A place not like home...

Here I am... I have about an hour before boarding my flight back to Toronto from Moncton. It has been a great week, and I do miss Toronto. Moncton is a great beautiful place for everyone except <40. It is extremly relaxed, with everyone having the time to greet you and meet you. No stress, no pressure, just good slow paced life. Nothing like Toronto/HK.

Word of advice for all the young engineers/young workers out there, get a travel job. You will live the life of "Up in the Air", sampling different beds at different days of the week depending on where you are, and lots of expensing. Thats right, expensing. The wonderful world of expensing. Of the 52 weeks of work available to be had at the office, I spend about 17 of them travelling all over Canada. From Vancouver, Victoria, Kelowna, Abbotsford, Calgary, Edmonton, Saskatoon, Regina, Winnipeg, Toronto, London, Hamilton, Kitchener, Ottawa, St.Johns, Moncton, Halifax... yup, I've done them all. Travelled, met some great people, tasted the local wines/entertainment, and experienced some of the coolest events going on around the country. You name it, Kayaking, ziplining, rave concerts, strip clubs, etc. Theres always something to be discovered in each city, no matter where you go. Its always the people, the people that you go with that makes the experience so exhilerating, so exciting, so different than Toronto life. Everyone will always ask, "whats the difference, we can do all that in Toronto". Mostly its true, but when do we ever have the time to stop what we are doing from our everyday 9-5 and actually enjoy the lifestyle that Canada has to offer? When do you actually have time to enjoy the money you earned? After 3-4 years of work, I realize that the only time you do have the chance is if you just simply disconnect from the 9-5. Get a travel Job. Go. Enjoy the life outside of home, enjoy sleeping in different beds 5 days a week, enjoy meeting new people, new experiences. Enjoy Canada.

Theres so many people that travel that don't do anything different. The ones that go back to their hotels after work, the ones that just do nothing. What a waste of time and company money. Get out there and enjoy life. Theres no better time and place than that of the wonderful world of expensing. You can drive a car all paid for, a hotel all paid for, and eating whatever you want, and do whatever you feel at a foreign place... BEST of all , you get PAID. What more is there to life than that? How can a single person NOT enjoy travelling?

So here is my first post on the couples blog, where should I start? Usually its always at the beginning from how I met this lady, what I thought about her, etc..

But instead, I feel that this blog should be dedicated to the “bettering” or simply giving some tips/advice on relationships/partnership, or perhaps just some observations on the process of growing up. This is something that most PUA/game gambits won’t go over, as its justified that it is not part of their scope. So here goes, the first blog:

The feeling of “ Everything will change once xyz happens…”.

Ever heard of the familiar saying from your friends,whatever..
“Everything will change once I enter University…”
“My life will change once I get more money…”
“My life will change once I get a gf/bf…”
Etc.

Here’s some advice, nothing will change. Period. It is all a matter of how you change yourself to fit the environment. It is and never will be the other way around. Anything life changing will always be the combination of perseverance, hard work, and commitment. There’s no other way about it. I’ve known way too many people that think that by doing xyz something will change, but in fact once they are in the situation they realize its still the same shit. Going to the same clubs, doing the same things on Friday night, with the same people, yadda yadda. They will always hope something will happen, but it won’t. Instead, all they do is wait and wait … and in the end they have wasted a lot of time and effort simply mental masturbating. Truth is, it takes a strong, conscious effort to actually change something about yourself. Personalities can change, but characters do not.

Same goes for relationships. I actually feel wary when couples tell me they don’t argue. Sure, arguing can be a really bad thing, but at the end of the day its just heated communication. Communication will always be the thing that keeps couples together. Whether the guy/girl is ugly, not enough money. Etc. The only one thing that keeps the bond solid between couples will be the communication portion. Sometimes the other partner will be hesitate to give out communication, but its up to you as part of a couple of figure out what exactly is the issue, and actually talk about it with the other person. The responsibility are on both sides to upkeep. Change is good. Know what kills a relationship? Routines. Endless fucking routines. Dinner, shopping, movie, sex. Everything can become a routine, but its comfortable though. So in short, change it up. Mix it up. Spice it up!

Easter Weekend 2010: Big Apple & Wine Tasting

Exactly as it says in the title of this post. That's what we did this past easter weekend.

The lover and I went on a relaxing (for me) cruise. Yes, I did in fact, successfully bother the sanity out of him through out the approximate 2 hour drive to Belleville and when we finally arrived to the Big Apple factory, I think he was relieved to be able to get out of the car and get some breathing space from me (bwahahaha).

We bought two apple pies, one for each of our families, and left, to go visit a winery. One was open, the Casa-Dea Winery & Estates and picked up a bottle of CD Bianco which was quite lovely.

Unfortunately, no other wineries were open :( so we ended our trip a little early and stopped by the Ajax Downs casino on our way home. It was my first time playing the slots and we won enough money for our dinner or lunch the next day! Yay!


Apparently V doesn't win that much when he goes at other times, so I guess its a sign. I'm his luck charm. Yup yup. He doesn't believe it though.
Sunday, we went for a run/ride (i cycled while he ran ... Wahahahah) made easter dinner for his family, and gosh, did we make a lot of food. We had garlic bread, shrimp alfredo pasta, mussels steamed in white wine, clam-stuffed mushrooms, and the apple pie for dessert. It was definitely one of our best dinners to-date.

Ending the weekend off with mahjong .. I am sad to report that I didn't win :( and V did ... a few times. Pft. IT'S OKAY THOUGH! I will redeem myself during out next mahjong episode.

Until next time! Stay tuned for further adventures. :)

V needs to add an actual post.

I would add another story to this blog but I posted the first one..

and

"uh yea, balls!" does not count as a sufficient post..

So hurry up. It takes two to tango, two to be in a relationship, and therefore, two to build a couples' blog.

So get on that shizz babe. "Be a man! Do da' right fing!"

That is all.

Uhh

Ya.. balls!

My Bill Now, Yours Later.

Let me start off at the beginning.

It was a cold winter day (January 6th, 2008 to be exact), and I had spent the hour before noon to ensure that nothing was out of place and everything presentable. I had meticulously applied my make-up, hair and chosen my outfit to intend a certain look; simple eyeliner, straightened hair, a red long-sleeve shirt for some colour, and navy jeans. We had scheduled our date for noon and knowing that he would have a little trouble finding my house even with the GPS system in his car, I gave him a leeway of ten minutes. I wasn’t disappointed. As I walked up to his car, I gave him a point for reaching over to manually open my door (the car had power locks) from the driver’s seat. However, when I got in I must admit that I had to take a moment to size him up. I did not expect the face of Adonis but at the same, being five feet and 3 inches, he was a tad short of perfection. Even so, his charm intrigued me with increasing magnitude and within moments, a conversation began to spark.

The topics were common enough to flow from one to the other; my future aspirations, a future event that I would potentially partake in, and some side jokes slipped in occasionally as well. He was polite and earnest, without seeming too pushy or being arrogant like many others who I had encountered in the past. Giving me a chance to speak, I allowed myself to let down pieces of the wall built around myself and became a little more comfortable to speak leisurely. He impressed me with his wit and passion for cars, as well as his patience for my questions and opinions. I realized then, that the faint connection which had ignited at first was gradually growing as we grabbed each other’s interest. I was surprised that I would be attracted to someone so seemingly different and yet also affably alike. My short-sightedness of his character had come as a surprise in my mind, but I tried to remain unaffected as well as observant of his favourable attributes.

After arriving at the gelato parlour, we tried to pick flavours for our order and accidentally discovered that we shared the same favourite flavour. It was a difficult choice to make but after choosing our flavours, the issue of who was to pay came up. I had offered due to my upbringing, but he compromised to take this one and I could repay him whatever I felt was sufficient. His comment caught me by surprise more so than any other instance thus far. I confessed in my mind that his princely character overcast my short-sightedness at first, but to my surprise he surpassed my expectations as he told me I did the same.

After this revelation, he ran a personality test in which he required my hand and did so by holding it to examine the creases in my palm which I was sure to be a simple test of any sort of connection. I was so comfortable and at ease with him that by the time we had to leave, I wondered how he was able to defeat my initial shield so quickly. It didn’t upset me in the least, but nonetheless we had both succeeded in capturing each other’s interest. It was obvious that we did not disappoint the other’s expectations in wit and charm, but it was the coldness of the ice cream and winter breeze that allowed me to see his quick perception and concern to warm me. I was again impressed by his sincerity and kindness for my cold condition. The ice breaker date ended off quicker than we anticipated but even during the few hours I spent with him, his charming character impressed me so much that his request to see me again was granted. It was the first date where I’d first had a door opened for me, first been at ease so quickly, first felt warmth from an ice breaker, and flattered by a first impression.


M